Archive for category Stupidity

Public Service Announcement: Grocery shopping

I have just returned from the grocery store with frozen chicken, frozen pizza, frozen burritos, taquitos, pizza bites & (not frozen) soy sauce. What made me do this terrible act? Hunger.

I’ve been going to roller derby referee practice for some months now & I’m still plagued by the same trouble: there isn’t enough time to eat before practice, and waiting until afterward leaves me starving. By now I’ve tried every horrible concoction in the frozen foods isle (except those things that look healthy) because of the tantalizing pictures on the boxes of shredded animal bits pressed into animal-inspired shapes. I must find a solution!

Now, the obvious one would be to grab a snack bar as I walk out of work or to have a plan for dealing with the hunger that didn’t involve a bag with the word “Chicken” in quotes because the authenticity of said critter is a bit uncertain. But no, those solutions are too easy. I must press on until I find a way to conquer hunger with little or no forethought and only a limited quantity of barbecue sauce.

Fruits and vegetables? What, are you crazy?!?!

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Jesus withdraws?

First off, I’m not making fun of religion. I’m perfectly happy to be agnostic & let everyone else believe what they want – or at least most of them. I get annoyed when people criticize someone for following a religion, even if I think that belief system is utter baloney. I get even more annoyed when people prey on people who pray.

In today’s mail I got a wonderful envelope stuffed full of suggestions of what I need to pray for. It appears that an all-knowing God needs me to properly file my desires for a better world with one church in order for Him to get to them in a timely manner. Included was a folded paper “prayer rug” where Jesus would look up at you with big puppy-dog eyes and a donation envelope with check boxes of common prayer requests. And, my personal favorite part, success stories from people whose prayers were answered.

So why do people need someone to pray for them? The one foundation of my personal beliefs, and the one that I can’t stand if others disagree with is that all people are created equal. I know, one person’s IQ may be higher, or another may be a faster runner, but every human life is of equal value. Why is it that only certain people can get God’s ear? Do you really believe that your heartfelt prayer will have trouble reaching its destination if you don’t have someone else send it for you? Just because you may not have as melodic of a voice or be able to chant in Latin (which Jesus didn’t speak, so why is it used anyway?) doesn’t mean you don’t count as much on the scales of Heaven.

Second, you’re sending money to a stranger who says they will pray based on what you’ve requested. What are the chances they will even be able to pronounce your name? Assembly line prayers – take the money out of the envelope & start saying “God please watch over… Ju, Je…Jennifer, I think?… in her…desire for a boat, a new car, and… something about her dad and the hospital, it looks like – oh, and grant her some better handwriting while you’re at it.”

I’ll wrap this up – people really do need help from others. The tsunami victims in Japan, for starters. The abundance of illnesses that claim millions of lives each year. Depression, physical abuse, drug addiction. Do the world a favor – don’t send $5 to someone who will say a few words in your honor, send it to a charity. Just over one month from now I’ll be participating in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s fundraiser at the local zoo and the St. Baldrick’s Foundation for Children’s Cancer Research head-shaving event – I’ll get my head shaved if people donate money. I’m not going to post the links to donate to me – if you want to support me in this be my guest, but that’s not why I’m ranting. If you believe in a higher power, that’s fine – just remember that you can make more of a difference through your actions than with a thousand prayers.

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Egg drop log, day 1 (6 days till drop)

I signed up for an Egg Drop contest today.  To most people, this is a fun diversion.  Not to me.  I’m a Physics Geek – this is a battle for honor.  The family will be shamed if I fail.  Technically speaking, they look kinda ashamed that I’m a Physics Geek to begin with, but that’s beside the point.

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